we're not saying you're stupid but you're...
about as sharp as a marble
about as sharp as a bowling ball
about as smart as bait
about as smart as a stick
a couple of tacos short of a combo meal
a few burgers short of a barbecue
a few colours short of a rainbow
a few cowboys short of a rodeo
a few dollars short of a paycheque
a few keys short of a piano
a few nuts short of a fruitcake
a few screws short of a hardware store
a few threads short of a sweater
a few toppings short of a pizza
a few watts short of a light bulb
a few yards short of a touchdown
dumb as a bag of hammers
dumb as a box of rocks
dumb as a donkey
dumber than a box of hair
dumber than paint
not the brightest bulb in the tanning bed
not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree
not the brightest crayon in the box
not the brightest light in the harbor
not the brightest star in the sky
not the fastest car on the track
not the fastest ship in the fleet
not the most absorbent sponge in the sink
not the quickest bunny in the forest
not the quickest horse in the stable
not the sharpest crayon in the box
not the sharpest knife in the drawer
not the sharpest pitchfork in the barn
not the sharpest tool in the shed
not the sharpest tool in the toolbox
one beer short of a six-pack
one card short of a full deck
one fry short of a happy meal
one sandwich short of a picnic
one slice shy of a loaf
two clowns short of a circus
two leeks short of a harvest supper
two bricks short of a load
an intellect rivaled only by garden tool
any slower and you'd need to be watered once a week
couldn't hit the floor if you fell on it
couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel
doesn't have all the chairs at the table
if you had two thoughts they could throw a surprise party
fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down
has an IQ of room temperature
knitting with only one needle
nice house, not much furniture
no grain in the silo
not all the soldiers are marching in line
not running on all cylinders
only has one oar in the water
too much yardage between the goal posts
the antenna doesn't pick up all the channels
the battery is not fully charged
the belt doesn't go through all the loops
the driveway doesn't quite reach the road
the elevator doesn't go all the way to the top
the elevator doesn't stop on every floor
the engine is running but nobody's behind the wheel
the gates are down and the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming
the lights are on but nobody's home
the logs are ablaze but the chimney is clogged
the phone's connected but there's no dial tone
the pilot light has gone out
the TV is on but there's no reception
the wheel is spinning but the hamster fell off
you haven't lost your marbles but there's definitely a hole in the bag
about as sharp as a bowling ball
about as smart as bait
about as smart as a stick
a couple of tacos short of a combo meal
a few burgers short of a barbecue
a few colours short of a rainbow
a few cowboys short of a rodeo
a few dollars short of a paycheque
a few keys short of a piano
a few nuts short of a fruitcake
a few screws short of a hardware store
a few threads short of a sweater
a few toppings short of a pizza
a few watts short of a light bulb
a few yards short of a touchdown
dumb as a bag of hammers
dumb as a box of rocks
dumb as a donkey
dumber than a box of hair
dumber than paint
not the brightest bulb in the tanning bed
not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree
not the brightest crayon in the box
not the brightest light in the harbor
not the brightest star in the sky
not the fastest car on the track
not the fastest ship in the fleet
not the most absorbent sponge in the sink
not the quickest bunny in the forest
not the quickest horse in the stable
not the sharpest crayon in the box
not the sharpest knife in the drawer
not the sharpest pitchfork in the barn
not the sharpest tool in the shed
not the sharpest tool in the toolbox
one beer short of a six-pack
one card short of a full deck
one fry short of a happy meal
one sandwich short of a picnic
one slice shy of a loaf
two clowns short of a circus
two leeks short of a harvest supper
two bricks short of a load
an intellect rivaled only by garden tool
any slower and you'd need to be watered once a week
couldn't hit the floor if you fell on it
couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel
doesn't have all the chairs at the table
if you had two thoughts they could throw a surprise party
fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down
has an IQ of room temperature
knitting with only one needle
nice house, not much furniture
no grain in the silo
not all the soldiers are marching in line
not running on all cylinders
only has one oar in the water
too much yardage between the goal posts
the antenna doesn't pick up all the channels
the battery is not fully charged
the belt doesn't go through all the loops
the driveway doesn't quite reach the road
the elevator doesn't go all the way to the top
the elevator doesn't stop on every floor
the engine is running but nobody's behind the wheel
the gates are down and the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming
the lights are on but nobody's home
the logs are ablaze but the chimney is clogged
the phone's connected but there's no dial tone
the pilot light has gone out
the TV is on but there's no reception
the wheel is spinning but the hamster fell off
you haven't lost your marbles but there's definitely a hole in the bag